I wept for the human race today. I was watching President-elect Obama on C-SPAN as he moved through a crowd today at a Washington D.C. high school one day (okay, I don't know for sure when this was recorded) before he is to be sworn in as our 44th President, and many people spoke with him and shook his hand. But some, and this is why I wept, could only look at Obama through the tiny screens on their phones or cameras. Obama was within two feet, and seemingly happy to meet any and all who wanted to reach out to him. He was noticeably exhausted, but with each new face, he found the energy to smile and look at each person and listen to their words. If I had any doubts about his ability to handle his new job, they vanished as I watched.
But look at those people, I thought. Look, Obama is right next to you. Look at his face; he wants to meet you. He's here to meet you. But these few idiots continued to look at him through their mini screens, as if nothing existed unless it was rendered into pixels.
I don't understand. I understand the power of television. And I understand the importance of having a cool video on you MySpace page, but when did that become more important than meeting a real person? Shaking his hand? Saying hello?
I have nothing against anyone who said hello and took some video. Those people have the best of both worlds. The people who have no video, well maybe their friends will believe they met Obama, and maybe they won't.
But those people who have completely abandoned this need for human contact, I don't know. Maybe reality is changing. Maybe nothing truly exists until someone clicks on it. If a video is uploaded on the Internet and no one plays it, does it make a sound?
Showing posts with label youtube. Show all posts
Showing posts with label youtube. Show all posts
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
too lazy to make a new video...
(this is a video, in case you can't see it, www.youtube.com/v/KZ-y7yaKBiY)
"Hi, I'm the Holiday Rat. From all of us at the effing librarian, Season's Greetings. I guess that's it. Maybe I should have rehearsed this. Since this is such a professional website and you expect more from me. That effing librarian guy is right over here, just off camera with his hand up my ass. If you just crane your neck or mess with the video like in the movie, The Ring, you might be able to see him. He's not even paying attention to what he's doing. I think he's looking at porn. Anyway, thanks for a fun year, and buy a freakin mug! Happy holidays!"
Thursday, January 10, 2008
"I'm Sorry, that's a video of What?"
I just realized why I had to make a video called a cute furry animal recites the seven dirty words: remember what David Lee King said about the library of the future (which is actually from RWW and about the "sexy librarian of the future")?
And if not, it would mean that librarians haven't changed since, ever. The tightass librarian asks the child why she wants the microfilm ("you're not just going to play with it, are you?") so we are trained not to judge, but to assist the patron with his or her informational needs. But seriously, THAT'S A VIDEO OF, WHAT? A fucking hand puppet?????? Are you fucking messing me with me?
And this brings me to point Number Two:
DLK (again) talks about inviting participation by asking questions or posting polls, what about my question, "Would I get any fucking help?" Maybe I should post that as a poll with the two responses, "No." and "No fucking way."
I'll be the first to say I'm an asshole. I've always been an asshole. But I'm the kind of asshole that people like to be around. It's just that I will insult or mock any topic, no matter how sensitive or revered, if I think I can make a joke about it (especially if it's a joke that only I will laugh at). As my hero, John McClane says, "Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass." Well, I'm the monkey in the ointment, a greasy ointment-covered monkey (with soft, supple skin).
I think people don't respond to my questions or polls because they see me as a bullshitter. Oh, the.effing.librarian doesn't take the profession seriously. Bullshit. Like Comicus in History of the World: Part 1,
I'm as important as any fool in Shakespeare. If you can find humor in my blog, then you are not such a tightass and people will invite you out to get drunk. (Notice I didn't say, "for drinks," I said, "to get drunk.")
If you start with DLK link and work backwards, there are a lot of people to blame for these bullshit opinions. There's a lot of shit I won't do at my job, even if it's "sexy." And this goes way back: I never helped that guy who wanted me to get his business web site listed in all the search engines (this is many years ago); I helped him submit to yahoo and one or two others, but not the 40 that he wanted. I told him he had to pay a service if he wanted that much help. And I didn't tell him how to write the best meta-tags, but I told him what they were and why they were important (again, prolly 1998-ish). And I didn't help the woman sell her crap on eBay. But I told her where to find help on the eBay site for would-be sellers. And I didn't, not once, hold any one's hand and walked them through, step-by-step, to get an email account. Even when a man asked, "how come it says my name is already taken? I keep typing my name for the username and it keeps saying that it's taken." And I said, "yes, Bill@hotmail.com is already taken by someone else." "But who? That's my name." And I said, "yes, a different person with the same name already has taken that email account. You need to pick another one. If you want to use 'Bill' you need to add something else to it." "Like what?" And I said, "add a number, see here are some suggestions you can use right here on the screen, right here, in front of your face, here, follow my finger, no, this other finger, the one my finger is pointing to, no, this finger, here." And after he selected a unique username that the email accepted, I did not help him decide what password to create, but I did give him a pencil and paper to write it down so he would be less likely to forget it. And no, I did not kill Bill. But I pondered it.
So, to invite participation, here's your next water cooler question or conference icebreaker:
apply the rules for being a sexy librarian to the video of the hand puppet: would you help (or not help) both patrons equally? If not, why not.
The Fool has spoken.
[ok, fine, the video is on this page, http://youtube.com/effinglibrarian]
Imagine a future when you go to the library with a 5 minute video you've just made about last night's Presidential debates and that librarian says to you:How helpful would the librarian be if the patron came in not expressing an interest in uploading his video of a Presidential debate, but wanting to upload a video of a cute furry animal hand puppet reciting the seven dirty words? Would he get the same enthusiastic help? Would I get any fucking help?
You should upload it to YouTube and tag it with these four tags - two broad and two more specific to existing communities of interest on YouTube and the topic of your video. Then you should embed that video in a blog post along with some text introducing it and linking to some of your favorite posts by other people who have also written today about the Presidential debates. Make sure to send trackbacks to those posts!
Now, I think this is a particularly good video on the topic, so if you're interested I will vote for it on StumbleUpon (as a sexy librarian I have a very powerful account there) and give it a good summary explanation. Any of those are steps you can take that will make your work all the easier for people to discover.
Would that be great, or what? That's only the beginning of what is possible! My point is, while mainstream commercial media may still be what the majority of people online are looking for - there are a substantial number of us for whom that's not the case and as we learn to serve each other and ourselves better in terms of
recommendations, discoverability and relevance - our numbers will likely grow.
And if not, it would mean that librarians haven't changed since, ever. The tightass librarian asks the child why she wants the microfilm ("you're not just going to play with it, are you?") so we are trained not to judge, but to assist the patron with his or her informational needs. But seriously, THAT'S A VIDEO OF, WHAT? A fucking hand puppet?????? Are you fucking messing me with me?
And this brings me to point Number Two:
DLK (again) talks about inviting participation by asking questions or posting polls, what about my question, "Would I get any fucking help?" Maybe I should post that as a poll with the two responses, "No." and "No fucking way."
I'll be the first to say I'm an asshole. I've always been an asshole. But I'm the kind of asshole that people like to be around. It's just that I will insult or mock any topic, no matter how sensitive or revered, if I think I can make a joke about it (especially if it's a joke that only I will laugh at). As my hero, John McClane says, "Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass." Well, I'm the monkey in the ointment, a greasy ointment-covered monkey (with soft, supple skin).
I think people don't respond to my questions or polls because they see me as a bullshitter. Oh, the.effing.librarian doesn't take the profession seriously. Bullshit. Like Comicus in History of the World: Part 1,
Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher.
Dole Office Clerk: What?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human existence into a viable and meaningful comprehension.
Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *bullshit* artist!
I'm as important as any fool in Shakespeare. If you can find humor in my blog, then you are not such a tightass and people will invite you out to get drunk. (Notice I didn't say, "for drinks," I said, "to get drunk.")
If you start with DLK link and work backwards, there are a lot of people to blame for these bullshit opinions. There's a lot of shit I won't do at my job, even if it's "sexy." And this goes way back: I never helped that guy who wanted me to get his business web site listed in all the search engines (this is many years ago); I helped him submit to yahoo and one or two others, but not the 40 that he wanted. I told him he had to pay a service if he wanted that much help. And I didn't tell him how to write the best meta-tags, but I told him what they were and why they were important (again, prolly 1998-ish). And I didn't help the woman sell her crap on eBay. But I told her where to find help on the eBay site for would-be sellers. And I didn't, not once, hold any one's hand and walked them through, step-by-step, to get an email account. Even when a man asked, "how come it says my name is already taken? I keep typing my name for the username and it keeps saying that it's taken." And I said, "yes, Bill@hotmail.com is already taken by someone else." "But who? That's my name." And I said, "yes, a different person with the same name already has taken that email account. You need to pick another one. If you want to use 'Bill' you need to add something else to it." "Like what?" And I said, "add a number, see here are some suggestions you can use right here on the screen, right here, in front of your face, here, follow my finger, no, this other finger, the one my finger is pointing to, no, this finger, here." And after he selected a unique username that the email accepted, I did not help him decide what password to create, but I did give him a pencil and paper to write it down so he would be less likely to forget it. And no, I did not kill Bill. But I pondered it.
So, to invite participation, here's your next water cooler question or conference icebreaker:
apply the rules for being a sexy librarian to the video of the hand puppet: would you help (or not help) both patrons equally? If not, why not.
The Fool has spoken.
[ok, fine, the video is on this page, http://youtube.com/effinglibrarian]
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I am Sorry. I am Sorry. I am Sorry.
Don't ask how or why, but the other day I had the idea that it would be funny if I made a video of a cute, furry animal hand puppet reciting George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" (you can't say on television).
So I made a video of a a cute, furry animal hand puppet reciting George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" you can't say on television. It is for Adults Only. No, I am not linking to it; I have too much class (not so much class that I stopped myself from making the video...). But you are free to find it on your own.
If you do watch it, think about this: a grown-up person made it. I had to find a suitable puppet (some were judged not); I wrote a script; I rehearsed; I shot four takes; I trimmed off some seconds; I converted the format; I uploaded it, wrote a description and tags.
It's amazing how much effort we make for some things and how little we can be bothered for others. We are all going to die from some preventable calamity some day, but we will have been greatly entertained. If only I could devote as much time to learning a musical instrument or a foreign language, I would be a king. Learn, people, from my mistakes!
(Here is the link on the official George Carlin page, but the background and white text make it difficult to read.)
So I made a video of a a cute, furry animal hand puppet reciting George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" you can't say on television. It is for Adults Only. No, I am not linking to it; I have too much class (not so much class that I stopped myself from making the video...). But you are free to find it on your own.
If you do watch it, think about this: a grown-up person made it. I had to find a suitable puppet (some were judged not); I wrote a script; I rehearsed; I shot four takes; I trimmed off some seconds; I converted the format; I uploaded it, wrote a description and tags.
It's amazing how much effort we make for some things and how little we can be bothered for others. We are all going to die from some preventable calamity some day, but we will have been greatly entertained. If only I could devote as much time to learning a musical instrument or a foreign language, I would be a king. Learn, people, from my mistakes!
(Here is the link on the official George Carlin page, but the background and white text make it difficult to read.)
Friday, November 30, 2007
Baby, I can drive my car.
I'm agoraphobic, so I have a friend who films himself driving around, and then I watch the video so I can see what it's like to be outside on the open road.
No, I'm just kidding. I don't have any friends.
[Cough.] Anyway, with the whole 2.0 thingy at our library, I figured it was time to learn to upload a video. Don't ask why, but I like to record when I drive. I just think it looks cool. If I have the camera in the car, I'll just point it at the front window and shoot for a minute or two. There's no real point; I just like to do it. I know it probably isn't safe, and it's not even funny. It won't be funny until I lose control of the car and crash. Then it'll be hilarious. But then I won't be able to upload it because I'll be dead: Oh, the Irony!
You don't need to watch; it's just road going by.
If I can provide any instruction from this, here it goes:
I shot the video with a normal digital camera that saved the file in the .mov format.
Then I used Nero Vision Express 3 to edit the .mov file by trimming some seconds and adding the titles and exporting the result as mpeg-2. This took me from the original 143 meg .mov file to a 35 meg .mpg file that still looked pretty good. It didn't take very long at all.
Oh, and the song is "Teenage Electric" by the Circle Jerks. Really? I think my mom bought that album for me.
No, I'm just kidding. I don't have any friends.
[Cough.] Anyway, with the whole 2.0 thingy at our library, I figured it was time to learn to upload a video. Don't ask why, but I like to record when I drive. I just think it looks cool. If I have the camera in the car, I'll just point it at the front window and shoot for a minute or two. There's no real point; I just like to do it. I know it probably isn't safe, and it's not even funny. It won't be funny until I lose control of the car and crash. Then it'll be hilarious. But then I won't be able to upload it because I'll be dead: Oh, the Irony!
You don't need to watch; it's just road going by.
If I can provide any instruction from this, here it goes:
I shot the video with a normal digital camera that saved the file in the .mov format.
Then I used Nero Vision Express 3 to edit the .mov file by trimming some seconds and adding the titles and exporting the result as mpeg-2. This took me from the original 143 meg .mov file to a 35 meg .mpg file that still looked pretty good. It didn't take very long at all.
Oh, and the song is "Teenage Electric" by the Circle Jerks. Really? I think my mom bought that album for me.
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