Whenever Alec Baldwin is on SNL, I wish I could get him to perform this sketch. Yes, I wrote this all by myself. And yes, I think it's funny.
And again, I'm sorry for this.
Alec Baldin as Pete Schweddy (original appearances here and here)
John Goodman as Richard Fitz (a new character)
(this is basically the sketch... since it will never be performed, I've never actually written it out on paper)
Pete: Hello, I'm Pete Schweddy. You may remember me from my appearances on National Public Radio's program, The Delicious Dish when we discussed my popular holiday Schweddy Balls.
Richard: (makes yummy sounds)
Pete: And my delicious, meaty Schweddy Weiner.
Pete introduces his Friend, Richard Fitz, who runs a Bed and Breakfast called, The Dick Fitz Inn.
[............anyway... this goes on... until...]
Pete: So Richard and I are here to announce our partnership on opening our combined B&B and eating emporium, The Schweddy-Dick Fitz Inn.
That's it. That's the joke. I just want to hear Alec Baldwin say, The Schweddy-Dick Fitz Inn. Yes, it's infantile. But hilarious.
And as I said earlier, I'm sorry. Here, as an apology, is the original Pete Schweddy sketch: