Thoughts "c"

So I just went to Toondoo to log into my account to create another hilarious episode of BLACK SHIRTS, you know, that comic strip that all the world is talking about. (The next strip will continue with "square conversation bubble" trying to convince "round conversation bubble" that he's a woman - coming soon.)

And I see this question about a strip: "I don't get it. What's LAPD?"

So, of course, I wonder if this "google generation" lazyassmofo googled "lapd." The first hit from my search says "official website of the Los Angeles Police Department," so I guess he didn't.

But even if he did, how would he even know if the top answer was the right one? I google acronyms and abbreviations and new terms all the time, but sometimes I need to confirm what I find, since obviously at first glance, I don't know what I found. That's why now I tell people to bypass google and just go to wikipedia for any damn thing they want to know. If they aren't going to read a book or ask the librarian, at least they'll find some answer that isn't tied to lots of ads. And they won't have to think too much. Because who needs that; it hasn't helped most people so far.

Thoughts "b"

I hear these kids in the stores with their parents, asking, "Do you like this?" "Do you want this?" "Do we need this?" "I think I want this." "I think I want a yellow one." "Mom, you know I'd like this in yellow." "Mom, I'd like this."
All in less than a minute.

And there are parents who try to answer all the questions until they freak out under this massive denial of service attack. And I want to yell, "Put up your firewall!"

And I start to see kids as some kind of biomechanical organism, as if computers and the Internet and hackers and spam are just a natural evolution of human beings.

Mom, I'm in love with my teacher.
Mom, I'm in love with Adolph Hitler.
Mom, I put a roll of nickels up my ass.
Mom, I put the nickels in your purse.


It's like a complex computer program testing the strength of the firewall. What code gets a response? What code lets me stay out later? What code gets me cash?

Sorry, no conclusion. These are just thoughts.

Thoughts "a"

So I was just watching the Michael Moore film, Sicko, but I had to turn it off. I can't stand his narration. His voice sounds like he's going to end each sentence with, "You gonna eat that?"

I appreciate what he's trying to do, but I don't see how linking the current health care crisis to the demonized Richard Nixon is going to get everyone to suddenly change the system.

"Sarah Jacobson needed a new heart. Her insurance company denied her claim on the grounds that since Sarah's own heart had been beating in her chest since before birth, giving her a new heart for her used heart would be an unfair trade. Um, you gonna finish that?"

But I think he's misguided. I think the real culprit is the stock market. As long as businesses make decisions based on what shareholders want, these problems won't disappear.

And shareholders are everyone, even foreigners who hate America.
"Let's make Americans pay so much for health care that they can't afford to live.
And let's make food cost so much in America that they can't afford to eat.
And let's make real estate so expensive in America that they can't afford to have homes."

People are worried that terrorists are going to blow stuff up in America, but that's not my worry. I worry that hostile nations will make everything so expensive in America that I won't be able to afford to live here, and then I'll have to learn Spanish and live somewhere else.

I didn't give a crap about foreign investments in the USA until ten years ago when South Americans started buying all the housing in South Florida and raising all the home prices. And now that the dollar is so weak and foreign investors can be buying commodities like wheat, which translates to expensive food, I'm really paranoid about it.

"And let's make energy so expensive that the gamer librarians can't play their Wiis and PS3s and XBox360s."

Ah, that got your attention, huh? Who's paranoid now?