Comments, we get comments, part 2.

It was interesting how my comment about comments drew so many comments.

And yes, I agree, commenting is a pain in the ass. Comments are like mini-opinions, little bits our ourselves scattered around the internet. It's a test of my ability to be clever on the spot, a pop-quiz of pithiness. You think, oh, now *my* wit is being challenged. Fuck that. Even as an anonymous post, it's a mini-burden.

What I want is a dummy "Like" button that is basically a counter. I Hate that most tools like this need the person to be logged into some service before they can function. Like with the Facebook "Like" button that you can add to your blog, I "Hate" that the button requires the clicker to have a signed-in Facebook account before it does anything. It was the same with when I had the Digg and Stumbleupon buttons on this blog a while back.

So, yes, I appreciate comments, but I don't want anyone to feel obligated. I'll take it for granted that you all love me.

And speaking of love, I have a sex poll that you can answer. It's actually to collect statistics for a grant I'm seeking to place hand sanitizer stations in our libraries. If I can discover just how many of you are grabbing and rubbing each other in the Nation's libraries, I think I can squeeze some money out of Uncle Sam to a least purchase a roll of Bounty. It's the quicker picker-upper!

One out of Four visitors is insane.

the.effing.librarian recently conducted an extremely scientific poll because it used the Internet and involved clicking, and discovered that some of you are completely nuts.

When asked, "If you were hiring and learned the.effing.librarian was a candidate, would that knowledge count against hiring him/her/it/me?" a full 25% chose one of the hateful, and may I add, hurtful responses.

And that saddens me. Since I've always thought of you like a brother, or a favorite cap, like the "Free Mustache Rides" one I wear to Hooters. I never had a brother, but I thought if one day science made it affordable for me to clone myself, then that clone would be exactly like you.

So I don't understand why some of you don't want to work with me.

• I don't hum.
• I've never played any music by anyone who's ever been on American Idol.
• I don't cook smelly stuff in my cubicle.
• I don't floss when you try to talk to me.
• I never take more than two of whatever food you bring to share.
• I don't do weird stuff in the bathroom.

So I don't know why so many of you hate me. Or maybe I do know. You're just jealous.

The winners of the next four polls

1. Peanut butter and jelly.


2. Hervé Villechaize beats Abe Vigoda. Don't believe me, ask the ladies.


3. Favorite non-chocolate candy is the marshmallow circus peanut. Orange in color, banana in flavor, peanut in shape. It is a miracle.


4. You do not do a good English accent just because you've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail 16 times. No. Stop saying, "the parrot's not dead. E's restin. E's got lovely plumage."
   It's not helping your case. Neither is doing your Ringo.
   Aussie and Kiwi are the same accent. Period. You can't count them as two.
   There are only two American accents: Texan and New Yawk. Redneck, Valley Girl and "from da Hood" are not accents.
   So the winner is German ("I see nothing!").

Now that you know the outcome, please vote accordingly.

The Results of the Poll.

Here are the results of last week's poll:

What do you like best about Library 2.0?

1. blogging and my virtual life
   
   
2. the snacks at the workshops
   
   
3. learning new things and helping others
   
   
4. I don't know what that is. How did I get here? Is this Google?

And with 100% of the votes, the winner is, Richard Nixon.

Congratulations Mr. Nixon!

(seriously, you really care about polls?)