Monday, February 2, 2009

One out of Four visitors is insane.

the.effing.librarian recently conducted an extremely scientific poll because it used the Internet and involved clicking, and discovered that some of you are completely nuts.

When asked, "If you were hiring and learned the.effing.librarian was a candidate, would that knowledge count against hiring him/her/it/me?" a full 25% chose one of the hateful, and may I add, hurtful responses.

And that saddens me. Since I've always thought of you like a brother, or a favorite cap, like the "Free Mustache Rides" one I wear to Hooters. I never had a brother, but I thought if one day science made it affordable for me to clone myself, then that clone would be exactly like you.

So I don't understand why some of you don't want to work with me.
  • I don't hum.
  • I've never played any music by anyone who's ever been on American Idol.
  • I don't cook smelly stuff in my cubicle.
  • I don't floss when you try to talk to me.
  • I never take more than two of whatever food you bring to share.
  • I don't do weird stuff in the bathroom.
So I don't know why so many of you hate me. Or maybe I do know. You're just jealous.