Monday, May 24, 2010

I don't know what this blog is.

Sometimes I try to explain this blog to others. I use the words "crap" and "library" and "funny," but never in the correct order: funny library crap. So I sort of explain it's about library stuff, or not, that it's sometimes funny, or not.

I'm not much of a salesman.

So I like when I find others who describe my blog for me. I just saw that Miss Julie says my blog, "talks about many of the hot issues in the library world, as well as advocacy and news, but in a completely bitchy and steely way."

It helps when I can see how others see me. Did you ever notice that when you take a picture of yourself in the mirror then view it on your computer, you still need to flip it horizontally to get a better idea of how others see you? Otherwise, you see yourself, but mirror-reversed, and then Evil-Sulu tries to kill you.

So I may never know what this blog is, and maybe I don't want to know. When I was much younger, I was sure I wanted to be a firefighter. I took the firefighter test: I could lift a 125 lb dummy up and onto my shoulder in one smooth clean and jerk motion and then carry it along a 25 ft long, six inch wide beam. I found my way out of a smoke-filled room. I lifted and ran and lifted some more until I didn't want to lift anything heavy ever again. But I never became a firefighter. Years later, I wanted to become a media specialist in a school. I took classes and worked toward my teacher certification and taught in various schools as a substitute teacher. But I never became a media specialist.

I enjoy being the.effing.librarian. But I fear that if I figure out what the.effing.librarian is, and if I try harder to be a better effinglibrarian, then somehow I will lose whatever I have now. So I don't try. I just do. And if that makes sense to you, then I guess I'll keep doing whatever this is. But don't ask me to explain it because I don't know.