It's lonely being the.effing.librarian. I'd like to make friends, but it's hard to meet people with a name like that.
Even when I meet people in person who I've seen online, I don't like bringing up the whole effinglibrarian thing.
But then I want to know if they've heard of me. And so I have to bring it up: "Um, I'm that effing librarian guy, I have a blog... no? I gave President Obama the kiss of life when he appeared to be choking... but he wasn't... you know, his lips taste like strawberries..."
And, of course, nobody knows who I am. Yes, you know me, but I give you all those Chick-fil-A coupons for a free sandwich.
Like, I'm going to be in Orlando for a library thingie this week. And I know that there are about 3 people in Florida who read my blog fairly regularly who could actually be at the same event and just might admit to knowing who I am. But those odds suck. Why would I go around saying, "Hi, I'm the effing librarian," if it will only get me into trouble. The best thing that could happen is that someone just looks off without any glimmer of recognition and says, "Yeah, I'm an effing librarian, too."
Now Marilyn Johnson, author of This Book Is Overdue! will be there, and if you remember, she mentioned this blog in her book (and she likeded it!). Part of me wants her to show my "Should you become a librarian?" flowchart when presents, but another much larger part just fears that it won't get a laugh or that someone will shout out, "the effing librarian sucks!"
To be honest, that person would be me because I love hearing my name, but it's possible it might be some other person, who upon seeing me, would throw a delicious, fruity, sticky beverage in my face for something I wrote about something I won't be able to remember.
Anyway, I probably shouldn't care about being the.effing.librarian. But, so far, I want to keep my fake life as far away from my real life as possible. Especially when I got wrestled away from kissing the President and told the Secret Service agent my name was Joshua Neff.