Tuesday, April 6, 2010

5 Things I will NEVER be able to do again, ever, meme.

  1. Fly on a commercial airline with a bag full of fireworks I bought on the trip. Or with a gun in my checked bag. Now when I watch the movie Death Wish and see Stuart Margolin put a gun in Charles Bronson's bag, I think, "Holy Crap, this movie's over because that guy's going to jail for a long time."
  2. Say that something is popular somewhere in the world and be the expert on that thing. Like say, "This is the coolest band in London now," and have everyone believe me. Now they just enter a few commands into their phone to visit some website and then say, "No, it's not, you liar."
  3. Have sex without anyone asking about condoms. Yes, you can still have sex without them, but there was a time when no one but soldiers or Kennedy's needed them.
  4. Be involuntarily ignorant. I can learn about anything that I choose to know about without the worry of distance or expense. There are experts for everything at our fingertips. The flip side is that I will probably never be able to convince anyone, even myself, that I have any unique ideas.
  5. Dream about the future. I find that I almost never have any speculative flights of imagination concerning the future. Because it arrives so fast there just isn't time. There's so much available information, the future is always just on the horizon.