Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Librarians love awards.

I had a comment two posts back about a new group called "Shovers and Makers" which is a new award "for the rest of us."

But if you look at the list of "winners, " you can see that these librarians are the kind that should normally win awards for excellence from their local systems or consortia. These are the people I wish I was, but I'm not. These are the librarians I'd like to be, but can never be (because of my height). So I had to add my name to the list. the.effing.librarian is to excellence what a flame thrower is to a cheese sandwich.

I'm not lying, I'm a doer. But I don't do anything that my library would be proud to mention. So my award shelf, that I made in ninth grade wood shop with a horse head on one end and stained the whole thing "mocha victory" which is a beautiful chocolate color that would show off the gold and silver cups and plaques and statuettes beautifully, that I planned to fill with all of my awesome library accomplishments, is still only collecting dust. And supporting a tiny plastic Homer Simpson eating a donut. Here's a photo.

So any award is welcome. I accept them all with equal enthusiasm. So here is my self-awarded award as a Shover and Maker:

I write the.effing.librarian blog, for about two years now. And I still haven't been fired from my real job.

I am absolutely compelled to join any group which would normally exclude a person like me. Thank you for this honor.

My blobogok (google it) is for sale on Amazon for $1,000. But my blobogok in PDF is free is you ask nicely. If you buy a copy, I can absolutely guarantee that I will go out and get drunk with the money. Okay, okay, I'll donate some of the money to help sick children or cure some disease or something. There, you feel better? Now buy a copy of the damn book.

I am so outrageously important that I just wet myself from excitement.