Wednesday, October 22, 2008

WARNING: explicitly filthy rant follows.

I will compose my filth in white text to protect the easily offended. DO NOT highlight the following white text to read it.

The words that follow are not meant for one such as you: you are like an innocent doe in the woods basking in the warmth of sunlight, enjoying a cool breeze. I beg of you to not triple-click and highlight the following text to view it. Run little doe. Enjoy your life. Run.


Okay, now I feel better, so here's what just happened. Someone had a problem with a computer that was kind of our fault because the printed dumped their print job before it actually printed, which happens regularly if you press the buttons too fast.

And we have computer reservation software to manage use, and there weren't going to be any computers available for 20 minutes so they could reprint that document. Since I'm so important and powerful, I bypassed a reservation so I could get them on a computer immediately and resend the document.

And I asked if the document was in her email, and she answered, yes.
And I said, "okay, log into your mail."
And she sits down and says, "I have to get there through here...."

And she puts into the address bar. And when Google opens, she searches for AOL and then clicks the first search result to go to her AOL mail. She used Google to get to AOL.

Now, we know that people are stupid or ignorant or whatever you want to call them. But usually we can't quantify just how stupid. This little display revealed that people are exactly twice as stupid as they should be. 2XStupid.

As a scientist (yes, librarianship is a science), I was struck dumb by this discovery. G-o-o-g-l-e is six letters and A-O-L is only three. So she typed six letters to get to a place where she could then enter three more letters. Oh, wait!!!! That means she was more stupid. 3xStupid. The entire six-letter Google trip was entirely six-letters too many.

I know many wouldn't be surprised by this, but I try very hard to avoid witnessing stupid. I turn away when I see it coming. But this was stupid out of nowhere.

I've calmed down since. But at that moment, I was blinded. Actually blinded. It was like my brain tried to protect me; too late, but it tried.

But know now, for it has been proved: people are exactly three times more stupid than you'd expect. (Or two times, whatever, because my math sucks.)