Monday, September 22, 2008

An Open Letter to Hollywood (or Vancouver)

After viewing last night's Emmy Awards, we at the.effing.librarian would like to take this time to reach out the the television production community to pitch our idea for a show. It's about a woman who works in the high-stress, slow-paced world of a library.

During her work day helping people open files on their flash drives, she fantasizes about an exciting lifestyle. But at night, she goes out and lives one. She leads a double life using the information she collects during the day to make her city a better place after the sun goes down.

When she finds that the library is filled with criminals, terrorists, pedophiles, and good people who truly need help, she discovers her true calling: to aid or punish each according to her rigid rules for justice.

One night, she might stalk and castrate a child molester who trolls for innocents online; another night she tutors illiterate adults. She's a card-carrying member of the ALA, the ACLU and the NRA.

And yes, our librarian needs love. She's a sexy panther on the prowl, and no man, or woman, can escape her hunting skills. Her body is a weapon, but it's also a work of art, inspiring passion across genders and transgenders.

Oh, and did I mention that it's a musical? Or at least, it will break out into musical numbers. We're thinking Amy Adams.

It's sex. It's violence. It's Sarah Palin glasses and big bore rifles. It's helping kids to read, Curious George crafts, glue sticks, glitter, job fairs, DDR, using Wii Fit in her underwear, book talks, helping teens to appreciate the written word, and social networking. So far, we call it, "Looking for Mr. GoodBorrower."

Thank you for your time.