Sunday, January 10, 2010

Why Ebooks are Dead.

Like many of you, I search for library news. Okay, fine, I search for library porn news. And this came back: "Online 3D porn library unveiled."

And that is why ebooks are already dead. I don't care how easy the "e ink" technology used in the readers resembles ink on paper or how little energy the reader uses to display text. I don't care about the thousands of books I can carry in my hand. Like millions of you, I care about naked people.

The porn industry understands what people want. Sure, some people will continue to read books on some electronic device, but more people want to view full-color, HD, and possibly 3-D, naked bodies on their portable devices.

"For several decades, the adult entertainment industry has driven adoption of every significant new entertainment delivery system - the VHS home-video craze in the 1980s, the satellite television mania in the 1990s and the present day internet," said Bad Girls producer Lance Johnson.
No one wants to invest in ebook readers when 3-D, wireless, flexible e-paper, HD porn is just around the corner. So libraries should wait until next year before they spend money on some product with a very finite shelf life. Ebooks as we know them now, will be gone soon. Well, not totally gone, I mean some people still use beepers, right?

Your library can still subscribe to an ebook service that provides for downloads of books for your patrons, but don't go spending ten grand on a bunch of readers to loan out. Unless you still have a shelf full of 8-Track tape machines that continue to circulate: you know, if your library mission is to maintain a collection of obsolete technology.

When it comes to technology, follow the money. And from what I can see, the big money is in naked people. So I say to librarians everywhere: follow the naked people.

Unless it's a solitary naked guy following you home from the parking garage. At that point, you need to run. And yell for the police.