Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Effing Sales Slump at Site.

Sales for this holiday season at the.effing.librarian are down 71% from 2007 and shares (EFF.N) are trading at their lowest in two years.

Randall Lovell, spokesman for the struggling company reports that, "this difficult shopping season has left the.effing.librarian up to his ass in debt." The reported debt comprises nearly "$180 borrowed from his mother to pay a tab at Hooter's."

Although the company introduced new products at the end of 2008, consumer interest in the brand has dwindled. The company's motto and catch phrase, Effing right, I'm a librarian has not caught on with consumers and sales of effing goods are flat.

The president of the company, The Effing Librarian, hopes that when the President-elect takes office in two weeks that the country will find its promise and direction and that the economic outlook will turn around. "I feel like President Obama and I have one important thing in common; for the next two weeks, we're both without a paycheck. After that, maybe he can convince Congress to throw a little of that bail-out money my way."