Open Positions at the.effing.librarian

Great News. The.effing.librarian is hiring full-time positons.

Have you ever wanted to work for the.effing.librarian?

Have you ever thought, "Hey, I'm one-part funny, two-parts librarian, and three-parts awesome"?

Then did you think, "How many parts is that? Because that's six parts of something, and I don't know what standard I'm supposed to use. What if I'm meant to have 100 parts? That leaves me ninety-four parts unknown. Well, now I'm scared. What kind of monster am I?"

If you've asked yourself those questions, then you could live the dream and become a full-time contributor to the.effing.librarian.

• Do you like long hours?
• Do you have $500 to loan the.effing.librarian until he can pay you back?
• Do you have a car? Can you give me a lift while I'm between cars? Really, it's on the way.

There are only 3 requirements:

1. An MLS from an accredited institution.
2. $500.
3. Awesomeness.

Benefits include:

• Health Insurance: sharing my HMO. But you have to pretend to be my spouse. Yes, you have to make it look convincing. Yes, including doing that. I said convincing.
• Unpaid leave.
• An effinglibrarian coffee mug (after completion of six-month probationary period).

Some people say that there aren't any professional library jobs out there (shame on you, girl), but here at the.effing.librarian we say, "Can you make that check out to 'cash'?"