Thursday, September 11, 2008

the.effing.librarian doesn't care about much.

It's not that I don't care about much; I only care about a few things. I'm not a person who gets involved with numerous causes or events. I can't sustain the interest.

Do you know what it's like to stop caring? I don't mean about the world or life; I mean about anything. Have you ever been able to look at something that used to mean something and just say, "Feh"?

I must be getting old. I can still get excited about getting in the car and driving for 2 or 3 hours to do something cool, but I don't want to be in the car for 5 hours. I can't think of anything I care about enough to drive for 5 hours.

Even online shopping, the ultimate cultural achievement for this current civilization, doesn't thrill me. I find myself filling numerous online shopping carts, only to abandon them in the virtual aisles prior to submitting my order. I imagine annoyed digital shopkeepers replacing all that merchandise and cursing my IP address. "That bastard from never buys anything. He just wanders around my store then stinks up the bathroom."

I keep finding things, possession, objects, that used to mean something, that used to be important. But not any more.

It's like I could just start walking and never look back.

Right now, I have about five things I care about. So I don't have any plans to disappear. They consume 100% of my time and energy. But "the.effing.librarian" is not in that list.

What brought on this bout of moroseness? Dunno.

If I could figure it out, I think I could care about that.