Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I can finally realize my dream of becoming a pirate librarian.

From this story on Yahoo!, By MOHAMED OLAD HASSAN, Associated Press Writer.

This is a story about Somali pirates stealing Russian tanks and then apparently killing some of their members in some dispute. But what's interesting is that the story says, "The pirates denied the report." The story says, "the pirate spokesman insisted the report was not true."

???!!! Pirates have spokesmen????

It appears they do. The pirates' current spokesman is Sugule Ali who spoke to the Associated Press from his satellite phone.

And if pirates have spokesmen, do pirates also have archivists to compile their violent open-sea pirate exploits, like these reported by AP/Yahoo!?

And when the pirate archivist collects enough material, will the pirates then realize their need for a librarian? You see where I'm going with this.

How do I become the pirate librarian? Do I have to kill their current spokesman in hand-to-hand combat? Like how I got my current job? Because I can do that. I took the former librarian out with an unabridged dictionary to the face and finished her off with the guillotine paper cutter. I don't mess around. And if I win, do I get his satellite phone?

"Piracy has become a lucrative criminal racket in impoverished Somalia, bringing in tens of millions of dollars a year in ransom."
Wow. Maybe I'll get a raise.