“Those who know do not talk./ Those who talk do not know./ Keep your mouth closed./ Watch your body language./ Temper your sharpness./ Cut to the heart of the problem./ Mask your brightness./ Be at one with your patron./ This is the Reference Interview./ She who has achieved this state/ is unconcerned with friends and enemies,/ with a patron’s age or political connections,/ with what they wear or how they talk./ This therefore is the highest state of the profession.”People hate being treated like this. I should know because this is what I do and people hate me.
People do not seek wisdom. Or I should say, Americans do not seek it. Since Andy's approach seems sort of Eastern. Americans want pretty packaging with convenient, basic utility. The knife should cut as advertised at least once. The can opener should open cans cleanly 45% of the time. But the knife should look good in the drawer and feel good in the hand, and the can opener should be colored to match the microwave oven or refrigerator.
Americans do not want challenge. That is why librarians worry. Is our catalog too difficult to use? Which federated search product should we buy?
Libraries are the living representation of their communities. That's why so many idiots argue that librarians should look like the residents in their communities (that is so amazingly stupid, offensive, racist, sexist, and everythingist, I can't even begin).
But people want what makes them comfortable. The want libraries to match their native environment, whether it's the Home Shopping Network or a flea market.
This is what my patrons want:
"Why, that's a beautiful pin you're wearing. That little Pom just seems to leap right out at cha."
"Why, thank you. That is so kind of you to say so. That's Jo Jo. He's my best friend."
"How's Jo Jo doing?"
"He's passed on."
"Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that."
"You are the best librarian, ever."
And the patron leaves happy.
That's why I believe libraries should have greeters: volunteers who chat with the patron until the librarian can see her. The librarian should always be hidden from patrons, like in The Wizard of Oz (the movie). Patrons should feel the same way about seeing the librarian as they would visiting a doctor, lawyer or loanshark.
This is why I am adopting a child. Ok, more like a volunteer, but I'm getting a kid to work with me at the reference desk. I will sit there in my black tunic and a clean-shaven head (sorry, Farrah hair, we both knew it couldn't last). My child assistant will greet each patron with the words: "I interpret for Master."
After the patron tells my assistant what she wants, he will lean to me and whisper some nonsense in my ear.
Then I will search. My assistant will then say, "Master says the cookbooks are on aisle twelve. Come, Master will lead you."
After I find her cookbook and she thanks us, my assistant will finish with, "Also, Master says, 'nice pin.'"
I'm sure this will work. It better, I just shaved off all my hair.
