based on the future of reading:
[powerful movie trailer voice] "In the not too distant future..."
I just got a message on my phone: Where is your PapIrus®?
[powerful movie trailer voice] "August Treadmill has learned a terrible secret..."
I'm August Treadmill. The PapIrus is my reader. I downed Harry Potter meets Anakin Skywalker, the tenth Harry Potter book, and loaned my reader to my mom. What I forgot is that downloading is a two-way street. PapIrus logs anonymous user data and periodically uploads info like my location and current page on the screen, and time powered on/off, stuff like that. What I didn't realize is that PapIrus has a contract with Google for data aggregation, and since I just logged into my Gmail account at work (one IP) and my mom is at her house reading Harry on my PapIrus (different IP), they know that I'm not the one reading the "book." Which is a violation of the TOA (Terms of Agreement).
[powerful movie trailer voice] "A secret which could cost him, ..mmm... $800!"
Two seconds later, my phone rings and my mom tells me that the PapIrus reader just flashed an unhappy face with the phrase "acceptable use violation" and then turned itself off. Shit. My $400 PapIrus with all my marketing ($120) and tech books ($250) just went down the crapper.
With the libraries gone, I'm going to have to buy a paper copy of Harry from India for $30 and have it shipped as porn since the importation of copyrighted texts is a felony. Maybe it'll be here in time for mom's birthday.
The libraries disappeared because people stopped caring. Yeah, people are stupid. That's why my car is loaded with cans of baked beans and a manual can opener. I'm just waiting for the end of the world. Bon appétit.
[If you are a company developing a portable e-book reader and would like to use the name PapIrus, I am willing to sell you the name for $5,500. I sure hope you're that gullible because I would have settled for $32.50. Ha, ha, ha.]
