I regret that I was never a smoker.
Today I was driving and I played "Strange Condition" by Pete Yorn over and over and over. And it made me wish I smoked.
It's like "Cactus" by the Pixies, and "You" by X; these are songs where I see my alternate reality as a guy who calls women "baby" and lights up. There we are, lying in bed. I take the matchbook with her number on it from the nightstand and strike a match using one hand, a neat trick. It's a crazy life, baby. And then I take a long drag and pass it to her lips. But you know I gotta go. Those nine-hundreds aren't gonna weed themselves.
Oh, yeah. Even in my fantasy life, I'm a librarian. What can I say? It's a crazy life that I can't ever give up. Baby.