I don't complain about patrons; this is not that sort of blog.
Patron (in the car, on the phone): How do I get to the library?
Me: Where are you coming from?
Me: Where are you now? Tell me where you are and then I can tell you how to get here from there.
Patron: I see houses.
Me: Icy houses? You need to come south.
[a rimshot sounds in the distance. lost in the smoky room, someone coughs. thank you. thank you, very much.]