Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Effing, This is your life

Who can forget just a few short months ago, the arrival of the.effing.librarian?
Everything was new and bright and beautiful. What's that? So many colors for my template. Fonts! And now that we've reached our 1,000,000th visitor (thanks, New Zealand!), we'll take a look back at This Effing Life.

From a little baby, Effing grew and as motor skills developed, Effing discovered RSS and Twitter for people who liked the concept of having Effing around, but didn't really want to visit.
Then Effing learned to speak using Odiogo. Oh, and Effing's voice was like beautiful music, as if Stephen Hawking and Leonard Nimoy dropped a hip-hop house track.

Then Effing could walk...and oh, what mischief! How Eff stole the Fire Chief's hat right off his head! And ruined Mr. Wilson's prize roses. And started that war with Canada! What a scamp!

Now Effing's all grown up and in the autumn of life. Past growing and learning and mating... Mating? I never mated. Did I forget to mate? Where are the little Effings? Effing, Jr.? I will find someone. I'll place an ad on the Internet and find someone this weekend. I promise I will not go gentle into that good night, not without a struggle. But what will I wear? I'll call Nancy. I bet she has something; she's such a slut.

So this is my effing blog life, my greatest hits so far (I don't feel like posting anything new, so read some of this old crap again):

You gotta listen to your heart , in which Effing makes a plea to the world that we should all stop the fighting and learn to love one another. It'll make you cry. Or maybe punch yourself in the face until you cry.

What's right or wrong with Wikipedia? Where we see that Wikipedia, like mankind, is doomed to failure.

I can fly! Second Life is the greatest place in the world! Go there. Now. If you don't, I swear I will kill you.

Burn, baby burn. Even smart people sometimes say dumb things. But not me.

I hope you've enjoyed my life so far. Really? You have. You should get a puppy or something because you're wasting your time coming here. Yeah, a puppy would be nice.