Check this headline: "Library book sale brings in an estimated $200,000."
More than 20,000 people made their way through the doors of the McKinley High School cafeteria during the Friends of the Library of Hawaii's 63rd annual book sale, which ended its 10-day run on Sunday.Listen Hawaii: WE DO NOT NEED YOU TELLING EVERY SCUMBAG IN THE WORLD THAT LIBRARIES KEEP STACKS OF MONEY BEHIND THE COUNTER.
And REALLY? The McKinley High School cafeteria? Who was guarding all this money, "lunch lady Doris"? Or Sherman the Cafeteria Monitor? Did you cleverly hide the money under a rapidly thawing sack of tater tots?
The book sale -- a fundraiser to support public libraries and literacy programs across the state -- brought in an estimated $200,000 from the sale of nearly 150,000 books collected by the Friends over the past year.The "Friends"? You're telling everyone the Friends have $200,000??! Have you seen the library Friends? They're the oldest people in town. They're ancient. They're one hot day away from becoming dust. (thank you. joke copyright 2010, the.effing.librarian, and every other comic you've ever heard at an open mike night.)
This is not the news you want to spread. This is BAD publicity.
It's bad enough when someone has to watch my back when I clear a "quarter jam" in the copier and all can see that there's a wad of singles stuffed in the bill changer. Now I have to watch out for Alan Rickman and his criminal ballet troupe in case their latest heist targets the collection box full of Canadian pennies over by the used book shelf. Sorry, Snape, no bearer bonds here.
So, please, news sources of the world, do not tell people that libraries have money. We have books and story time finger plays and free internet. That's all you're allowed to say.