Monday, March 22, 2010


Sometimes I wish I knew a way to use my blog to help with... something. But I feel like Fartman (the original Fartman from National Lampoon before Howard Stern appropriated it) who uses his farts to fight crime and help people. But Fartman hides his awesome fart powers from everyone because, really, wouldn't you?

The.effing.librarian is like that, but without all that flatulence. Mostly without. He has awesome powers, but must keep his true identity secret. So that limits his effectiveness. His true identity is not nearly as awesome, but it's the one that has a paying job. Really, would you support some cause because the.effing.librarian asked you?

My first try at library advocacy and publicity was my petition to convince Hugh Hefner to make a librarian the Playmate of the Month in Playboy magazine. I realized at the time it wouldn't work because most librarians are past that 18-22 year-old prime aging that Hef seems to prefer for his centerfolds. And I failed, since Playboy said No, and no one was ever inspired to publish a magazine called LILF Monthly.

There are so many cities, counties and even states where libraries are in danger of closing their doors. And I don't know if there's anything I can do. Yeah, I can join a Facebook group, but what does that mean? Doesn't that just enforce the idea that if it's not on Facebook, then it doesn't matter? Or if my group only has 1,000 members and yours has 2,000, then my group sucks?

Now Apple wants to patent something about geographic ad hoc social networking, like that's something new. It used to be called a radio call-in show. Some radio DJ talks about something and anyone within the geographic area of his broadcast signal calls in and asks questions or gives his opinion. But then the Internet made social networking global, so now everyone thinks it's something new to bring it down to the local. So if in the future we want to build a local support group through the GPS on our phones we'll need Apple's permission: great.

But what about Facebook? I just looked for some group maybe called Save My Florida Library and I found something called "Save the Libraries Florida" which isn't a great name for a group or even grammatically correct, but at least it does what it should by listing all the State Representative contact info and outlining the problem with library funding in Florida. The group has only 18 members now. But other than joining a group, how can I help? The Facebook ad on the right side of the page wants me to buy a "heart candle," would that help?

As it is now, I try to help with my true identity, since he's the guy with all that fat library money. If I see a cause that gets my attention, I send a little bit of money.

And the.effing.librarian is just here to make my life suck a little bit less. And that helps.