Librarians as Anal Rapists.

There was an episode of Arrested Development where Tobias recalled how he was trained as an Analyst and a Therapist. And in a quick flashback,they showed his business card that read, "ANALRAPIST." This was the obvious compromise for the combination of being a half-analyst, half-therapist. And one of the funniest gags, ever (see card below).

So here's a story from India about librarians losing their identities. The term 'librarian' is no longer seen as a positive descriptor for the duties modern practitioners perform. So India is seeking a contemporary replacement for it.

Janice Lachance said, "Unfortunately the word librarian does not recognise all of the contributions these professionals used to make." She added, "We are going to suggest one more appropriate term and will ask members to vote for it. Hopefully this will give some value to the term and people across the world will accept the new term."

So someone will form a committee and the members of the association will brainstorm all the words one could use to describe the activities or skills or duties of a librarian:

organize; analyze; retrieve; assist; sort; catalog; direct; preserve; advise; instruct; protect; nurture; update... applied to data, information, people, etc.

And in the great failure that is Compromise, a librarian will henceforth be called an Org-Anal-Ass-Dat. Because those were the top four terms with the most votes.

Organalassdat. I'd rather be an anal rapist. Ok, I'm kidding. That sounds gross.