Monday, October 19, 2009

The Five BEST Excuses For Not Using Twitter.

1. The name: Twitter. Tweets. Twitterers. And all the "clever" variations. Do you tweet? I'm going to tweetattack that twitterlicious twit topic , twitterpotatwittamus. But it's a stupid name. It's one syllable more embarrassing than "blog."

2. Ashton Kutcher. And every celebrity we follow. Unless you do stuff that is, by itself, interesting, I don't need to know about it. Being interesting or knowing about interesting things and linking to them are the sole qualifications for a follow, not who you are.

3. Trending Topics. Really? Do I need to explain this? Ok, fine. Trending Topics are *supposed* to fulfill the promise of Twitter, that we are all connected, that there is wisdom in crowds. But what you find when you click on a trending topic are a thousand aholes asking "why is this trending?" or telling you to "click here to see my nude pics."

4. The Cult of Twitter. Did you know Twitter is a cult? It is. It's the new altar of worship for the endlessly mobile. The Cult is about DOing and BEing. The Cult is here to save the planet.

This SuperNews video sums it.

5. Because, for now at least, The Real World Still Kicks Ass. Unless you find a real-life reason for twitterererering, like it gets you out of performing some lame task at work, then why do it? Now excuse me because I'm going outside to play with the dog.

thanks, Dances With Books.