Saturday, February 9, 2008

Where is my perfect cell phone?

I want a phone made for my world. For example, some asshole tried to run me off the road today. And it wasn't just my opinion since all traffic behind us stopped in expectation of the impending collision. But I avoided being hit and the asshole went on his way.

Screw the mp3 player, LG and AT&T; here's what I want in a phone:

Simple: let me mount it to the dash of my car.

Give me a voice activated camera to record the asshole who tried to kill me today: "Record video."

Give me voice-to-text trancription: "Transribe. Did you see that asshole try to run me off the road? Responses: yes. no. End transcription."

Give me the ability to broadcast to all enabled devices within a 100-foot radius: "Broadcast all. Collect responses."

"Send video highway patrol."

And don't count this against me, but in my dream world, my phone would also be chambered for .40 S&W and hold five rounds.