I love Chick-fil-A. But their damn cows are liars.
I'm reading their paper, The Daily Chikin, and from the title, it's written in Cowese or Cowish or whatever language those cows use. The byline for the front page story is one [Miss] Maybelle Stallworth and she begins, "Az of 7 a. m. Easturn Standerd Time," and as you can see, cows have a feeling for English grammar but don't care so much about spelling.
But that doesn't bother me so much as "Maybelle's" (if that's her real name) spelling inconsistencies. In the second paragraph, Maybelle writes, "Citing sevrul reesuns." Now, how is it that she managed to spell "citing" correctly? That soft c sound should have tripped up even the brightest bovine journalist.
And check the third paragraph where she spells cows as both cowz and cows. Really? You are one, Maybelle. Check your freakin driver's license for correct spelling or your damn species. And then she writes about a mourning duv and spells mourning correctly when I know humans who consistently get that one wrong.
So, quit with the bogus journalism, Chick-fil-A. If your cows are trying to ingratiate themselves with us by talking down to us, then screw you. Just make your delicious chicken sandwiches and keep the down-home misspellchecking inhouse. You only shame yourselves.
Okay, I'm drinking. But that doesn't change the fact that those damn cows know more English than they let on.
If I have to drink wine, I like wine that makes me feel like I'm drinking booze, so it's gotta be cold. And the only white wine I like is fume blanc or sauvignon blanc.
Monkey Bay makes a damn good one which I finished really fast. But since I didn't know how good it would be, I got another bottle of a different wine. But, woof, this one blows. It's Smoking Loon sauvignon blanc which I'm now drinking straight from the bottle because it's not even worth the effort of cleaning one of my good Shrek glasses. I mean. it's a 2005; did it get old? But I'm drinking it all because I can't think of one damn thing my liver has done to make me happy. And if you think I have any brain cells left, then you're new to this blog.
Remind me to get more of that crazy monkey wine.
