And that's today, Friday, January 4. What? Today is Saturday, the fifth? No way. Here, look at my digital watch. Wait, it says, Saturday. What's going on? Yesterday was just Thursday. Did I lose a whole day?
Wait. I had an appointment with the hypno-therapist on Thursday, for a "medically-recognized and practiced approach" to dealing with my excessive sexiness (it seems I'm too sexy for my pants). And now it's the next day, which should be Friday. But my digital watch tells me it's Saturday. Did I black out for a whole day? What happened?
Wait a minute. If I had that "medically-recognized and practiced approach" on Thursday, then where are my pants now? And where did all this blood come from? And where is Tommy, my wonder-llama? Tommy? Are you hiding? Oh, God! NOOO!