The Effing Librarian's Library Predictions for 2008

1. Google will invoke the right of primae noctis on anyone who clicks the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button (revealing the true nature of who really gets lucky).
   
2. Watch for some social bookmarking sites to merge or clash, often with violent Jet-Shark consequences: Technorati might StumbleUpon Mister-Wong crossing the Bloglines. A Fark ensues with not so del.icio.us results. A nasty Digg incites rivals to Slash(dot) each other and then the whole Kaboodle explodes until the streets run Red(dit).
   
3. The OLPC (one laptop per child) initiative will throw the developed nations educational systems on their heads as fat, lazy video-game-playing kids are surpassed in education and skill by the world's poorest children who've used their XO laptops to master everything from language to technology to music and art.
   
4. Libraries continue to fill with computers under the global telecommunications program created to provide MySpace and Facebook access to Support Know-nothing Youth (who) Never Even Tried (SKYNET). Governor Schwarzenegger promises, "I'll be back."
   
5. The popularity of the Nintendo Wii brings increased use in libraries leading to unprecedented library worker repetitive stress injuries, whiplash and black eyes: Eee! Oy! Ay ay ay!