For the new year, I'd like all news reporting agencies to cease using the following phrases when referring to libraries:
The (whatever) library...
closes the book;
turns a page;
begins a new chapter.
A quick search on the googly shows total hits for each:
library and
closes the book, 38,700
turns a page, 16,700
begins a new chapter, 4,500
Please, please, please, journalists of the world, give us new metaphors. Anything. Haven't you been to the library, lately? How about these for example:
The (whatever) library...
prods the sleeping smelly guy on...;
unblocks the filter on...;
cleans the ca-ca on...;
reboots the...;
refills the golf pencils on...;
clears the copier jam on...;
ignores the abandoned child on...;
distracts the psycho while the sniper gets a clear shot on...;
wipes the sweaty keyboard on...
(suggested by "dances with books," has sex in the restrooms of... and provides aid to the bounty hunters on... )
Or anything other than those same three phrases over and over and over. I vote for anything with ca-ca.
