Wednesday, October 3, 2007

more crap from the book you can't read

To celebrate Banned Books Week, here is part two (here is part one) from the book I self-published that you're not allowed to read even if you offered me lots of money. Wow, for a book that you aren't allowed to read, I sure do post a lot of it here. I wonder if that means something.

Ape and Snake: a tale of oppression

This story may have happened one day, or one day it may still happen. One day. A flowering plants and cool breezes through the trees day. A day like many others. But not really.

Chapter I
An ape was in the forest. He was young and strong, and he could climb trees well. He was eating a piece of fruit. It was good fruit, he thought.
A snake slithered up on her pale belly and said to the ape, "My, my, that sure looks like good fruit."
"Yes, it is delicious," agreed Ape.
"Why don't you get me some," said Snake.
"The trees are filled with fruit," replied Ape. "If you want some, just climb up and get it yourself."
"You're so much better at climbing than I am," Snake said. "Besides, if you don't, I might bite you." With this, Snake bared her teeth. She hissed loudly and poison dripped from the tips of her sharp fangs.
And Ape, fearing for his safety, climbed the nearest tree to get Snake some fruit.
"That's more like it," Snake said.
As Snake bit into the ripe and juicy fruit, she thought how she must tell her friends about this.

Soon there were many apes climbing many trees to fetch fruit for not so many snakes. And if an ape grew tired or refused to climb, a snake would bare its fangs and hiss a nasty threat.
But when the snakes slept, the apes whispered amongst themselves: "These snakes are bad," one said.
"Evil," added another.
"What should we do?" asked a third.

Chapter II
One day Ape was in a tree picking fruit for Snake. As he crawled out along the branch, it cracked and sent Ape crashing to the ground. Before Ape could recover from the fall, the broken branch fell from the tree and hit him.
"Ow!" cried Ape. He rubbed the spot on his head where the branch had hit him and felt something wet. Ape was bleeding.
Ape picked up the branch and felt that it was heavy. Then Ape got an idea. He ran to another ape and showed him the branch and the blood from his head. And then other apes came and were told of this new discovery.

Soon most of the apes had gathered broken branches and sticks and met to discuss what to do. The snakes noticed that no ape was bringing them fruit, and soon they too had gathered together.
While the snakes talked, the apes approached. The snakes then turned in alarm and faced the apes.
Snake, along with several others, hissed at the now cautious apes.
Ape was near the front and turned to see the hesitation in the eyes of his fellow apes. So Ape raised his heavy branch and roared and showed no fear.
One inspired ape charged from the side of the group waving his stick.
The ape swung down and smashed the back of a snake while another snake struck the ape and filled his blood with poison. The ape wailed and scurried back to his pack. He did not feel well and was finding it hard to breathe.
Ape sat with the injured ape and held him as he died.
Snake rubbed against the broken body of her fallen friend.

The snakes were now ready for a fight, and the apes appeared ready, too. They stood facing each other, ready to fight, ready to kill, and ready to die.

Now, if the events in this story were to really happen, what do you think
should happen next?