Saturday, August 18, 2007

When the hell did the skinny tie come back?

You know that we at The Effing Offices are always at the forefront of fashion trends, but we've been so overwhelmed with fashion advice for library ladies that we've completely forgotten about you library men.

So really? When the hell did the the 2" wide tie come back? I wish someone would have told me because that's the funnest tie of all.
That's the only tie I ever wear. Since its demise, I have gone tie-less. And since I started typing this, I've been pants-less, but I'll save that update for my Flickr page.

My box of thrift store "Paul Turner of Miami, Fla. Genuine Grenadine" ties was sitting in the closet just waiting for this news.

You don't know how long I labor over cultivating this.effing.look. What? My fly's down? Of course it's down. I just said I wasn't wearing pants. I know they're just down around my ankles. Don't you know anything about fashion?

I remember when I bought my first skinny tie. It was 1968, the eve of the American Presidential election, and the country turned its eye toward the fresh-faced boy from California, Dick Nixon. And nothing would ever be wrong with America again. What? I said,
NOTHING WOULD EVER BE WRONG WITH AMERICA AGAIN.

However, The Beatles released the White Album that same month with that stark white cover that represented a white oxford shirt without a tie. What did they know?

The skinny tie says I'm optimistic about the future.

And that I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. Or woman. What do you know?