Thursday, August 30, 2007

What does it take to be an effing librarian?

You can google librarian and blog and you can find the:
annoyed librarian
shifted librarian
bad girl librarian
and just tons more.
There are many images for librarians, and most of them are out to change the image of librarians. (Is that an example of something, not irony, but something similar?)

But what does it take to be an effing librarian?

Here's what I mean:
A guy shows me a piece of paper from a site that offers "free credit reports" and it tells him to log in to view his. But the website isn't working and all it displays is garbage text.
So I asked him where he got that site from, and he shows me a pamphlet from the (U.S.) government telling him to go to But the site on his paper is something like and I asked him if he put any information in the site and he said that he had to put in a credit card number to pay the $1 for the credit report.

And at that point, I'm reminded that I'm the.effing.librarian.

There was nothing I could do for this guy after the damage was done but to tell him to call his credit card company and check to see what charges are being made for 200 digital cameras on his card right now. And of course, get him onto the right web site for his credit report.

The world is a scary place and there are always people out to do you, so you really need to know where your towel is (wait, that's Hitchhiker). The point is, an effing librarian knows the world is a scary place, and we want to help, but our attitude is more like the Sam-L approach, "Do what I say, motherf**ker, if you want to live."

It's not an attitude that fits every situation, but unfortunately, I'm stuck with it. When you see that scary guy eyeballing you from across the room, don't panic; I'm there to save your ass.

And I'm hoping that there are more effing librarians out there. There's nothing wrong with being an effing librarian. An effing librarian is in charge of the situation.

What I should do is try to market this as a library philosophy. But I really don't have the time right now. Maybe somebody out there has been trying to get ALA to publish their The Modern Librarians Guide to Modern Libraries, but isn't having any luck. Maybe we should team up to publish The Effing Librarian : Modern Library Maxims for a BAD MOFO.

Anyway....get your asses back to work.