Thursday, August 16, 2007

Web, girl, you're a woman now.

Wow, this month marks the 16th birthday of the World Wide Web. If I can trust my Internet
sources. But when can you trust anyone to reveal her true age?

On 8/16/2007 at 6:52 AM EST, Wikipedia said this about the WWW:

On August 6, 1991, he (Tim Berners-Lee) posted a short summary of the World Wide web project on the alt.hypertext newsgroup. This date also marked the debut of the Web as a publicly available service on the Internet.
...But when you check now, it might say,
"On this day, Alice B. Toklas defeated Max Schmeling in the first season of Survivor: Battle of the Network Stars. Flying Spaghetti Monster: I've been touched by Your noodly apendage."

Damn you, Wikipedia for your continuing revisions!

August 2007 is also the 10th anniversary of my first website. I had a little Studio page in SoHo on Geocities where I posted my heart's desires and my pink unicorn dreams. And I wrote all my special poems that I hoped The Spice Girls might see and use in one of their songs and maybe Geri would sing (I feel closest to Geri because we've both had photographers exploit our young bodies for money).

Here are those lyrics:
You're such a crazy girl.
Your head is in a whirl.
You need to find a guy
hung like Milton Berle.

Wait. Maybe those were lyrics I wrote for Mötley Crüe (Dudes, that song would have been

So, Happy Birthday to the World Wide Web. You're Sweet Sixteen. I'm sorry if I missed your
"fifteens" party (quinceañera) last year, but I think you got my card and gift card to the
Dadeland Mall (I know you wanted a Coach bag).

Gosh, you're such a fine young lady. Soon you'll be getting all parts of you pierced. Go
girl! Have strange men handle your most intimate parts and poke sharp bits of metal through your skin. Cover you body with tattoos of nekkid ladeez and cherubs and faeries and barbed wire. You're a woman now.