Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My work here is done.

You no longer need the.effing.librarian. This blog will be over soon.

I'm glad so many of you could find the place. I know I didn't give very good directions, calling it The Effing Librarian. I should have named the blog, The Absolutely Fucking Hilarious Librarian.

I'll still have my Gmail account so you can reach me if you have a scary dream and need reassurance that there are no monsters. I'll still be the.effing.librarian; I'm just not going to do it here.

But if I am ever needed again, I will be back. Wherever tyranny pulls down the britches of good people and spanks the firm round ass of lawfullness with the calloused hand of injustice, I will be there. Wherever freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, I will be there.

I am ending this blog. I began this thing on April 26, 2007, so I should end it around then. Everything is going. Every ass, all the farts, every fuck. Take a few asses, there are plenty to go around.

For you who have been here for a while, thanks for all the support. For those who just got here, tough titties, the party's over. This thing's been going on for two years, and enough is enough. Sorry, but I have to get back to work.

It's been fun making up goofy shit for you to read for the past two years, but the time has come to kill this blog. It's become more of a responsibility than I have the time to do it justice. Lately, it's been feeling more like a second job, and the boss hasn't paid me, since ever.


But before I go, I'd like to give away one copy of each of my blobogoks. So if anyone leaves a comment, I will enter you into the drawing and two people will get books; one will receive a copy of the first book, Fame and Fortune and Other F Words and the other will get a copy of the second one, METAL ASS. If you don't want to leave a comment, use the handy-dandy form thingy to send me your email address. I can't contact you if I can't contact you.

If you are from outside of the United States, please, only enter if your country allows mail from here and doesn't hate us so much that you burn everything with our flag on it.

Anyway, it's been fun, mostly. Two years and over 700 posts later, I now have two books that I can give to my friends for their birthdays. And again for Christmas. So that's two gifts out of the way, time well spent, I'd say.

So yes, I am deleting this whole thing. This is not a gag. Or maybe it is. Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow.

If you left comments that you think are extra clever and want to keep them, copy them now and reuse them on another blog; I won't tell.

If you leave a comment now, I will enter you into the drawing for a free book, but that means you need to give me a place where I can mail it (if you win-- don't go posting your home address in the comments now-- wait until I tell you I need it). I'll take entries from today, April 21, up to April 30, 2009.

If you win one of the books, I'll try to come up with something witty to write in it (but so far, I got nothing).

Any final announcements I have to make, I will make on Twitter. Then I'm deleting that, too. (Maybe.)

So the.effing.librarian blog is closed. Besides, the world is supposed to end soon (2012); so I need to clean this place up.

* the rules for the book giveaway are that I will box up one copy of each title, based on whatever method I choose to select the winner, and I will mail it to the address you give me. After that, it's out of my hands if the post office loses it or your police blow it up or a drug-sniffing dog eats it. The USPS has an international flat-rate box that fits the book and that's what I'll use to mail it.