Predictions I still believe will prove true within the next 25 years.

1. Water is a rare vapor carried in balloons and absorbed slowly into the skin via a complex series of tubes.
   
   
2. The Internet is a vitamin supplement taken as a suppository.
   
   
3. The Burger King is the real King of France and rules with an iron fist.
   
   
4. Space aliens have always been harvesting our genitals for food, so the codpiece isn't just fashionable, it's necessary.
   
   
5. OJ Simpson didn't do the first two, but he damn sure did the third through the sixteenth.
   
   
6. God is a red, ticklish, furry, stuffed toy.
   
   
7. Spanasgrish is the offical language.
   
   
8. California is an abandoned island in the Pacific Ocean swarming with poisonous beavers.
   
   
9. Mother China watches over us all.
   
   
10. George Clooney is still our most handsome serial killer.
    
    
11. Dakota Fanning was a cannibal activist before being declared Pope Elvis II.
    
    
12. Panda meat is a delicious snack.
    
    
13. People visit the library because it's cool.
    
    
14. Sex smells like rich, dark chocolate.
    
    
15. Cars convert body waste material into fuel, but you still need to pull over to fill up the tank.
    
    
16. People still believe it when JK Rowling says the next Harry Potter book will be the last.
    
    
17. What are cell phones?
    
    
18. If you rupture your skin, you die.
    
    
19. Most times when a dog calls 911, he's just screwing around.
    
    
20. Everyone remembers where they were when President Kennedy was re-animated then assassinated all over again. They were at Disney World; it's the most popular attraction there.

[originally predicted here]