An open letter to James Patterson

Mr. Patterson, you prolific bastard, I know you don't need any help from any librarian on how to publish bestsellers, but please take a moment to think about this as a title and setting for a future novel, or using "find and replace," any current novel that is about to go to print:

According to this story from the Edmonton Journal:

Stabbed man staggers into downtown library

"It's the library of fear," says security guard.

I know we've made fun of you in the past, see entry at judge a book by its cover, but if you would consider The Library of Fear for an upcoming title, all will be forgiven. Okay, most. Well, a lot will be forgiven.

On behalf of librarians everywhere, thank you for your time, the.effing.librarian.