I sent this to judge a book by its cover, but I felt like I had to say more.Baby Names for Dummies is the most insensitively titled book I know. There's only one situation where I feel this book could be used:
Doctor: I'm sorry Mrs. Johnson.
Newly mothered, Mrs. J: Oh, no, my baby! Is my baby all right?
Doctor: Oh, yes your son is fine, but I'm afraid he doesn't seem too bright.
Mrs. J: Bright? What do you mean?
Doctor: We performed all the usual tests, showed him a picture of a bunny; no response. Asked him to name 5 state capitals, still nothing. I even held up these fingers and asked him to tell me how many, but he didn't know. And as you can clearly see, I am holding up three.
Mrs. J: Oh, doctor, what can I do?
Doctor: This book might help.
Baby Names for Dummies helps you name your child if he came out a little dopey. If your newborn shows no appreciation for Chopin or can't grasp basic Algebra, this book might be for you.
Special Features of BNforD: all our American dummy Presidents are in there. Some people believe that all the Republican Presidents have been dummys, but that's not true, remember that Lincoln was a Republican (but that was before Republicans wanted to convert people into food).
Mrs J: Wow, this is really up to date. Who knew I had so many names to choose from: Ben, Angelina, Madonna, Lindsay, Paris, Ryan, Dubya, Britney, Victoria, Tom, Dick, Bono, KFed, and OJ.Other popular dummy names included in this edition:
Lenny (Of Mice and Men)
Lamont ("Big Dummy," Sanford and Son)
Mortimer, Charlie, Gabbo, Sid, or Willy.
Due to licensing restrictions, no Muppets are listed.
(yes, the above is a joke. Baby Names for Dummies can be used by all Americans... hmmm, what does that say about us?)