Monday, August 13, 2007

How much longer?

At what point do you guys give this up? You know, this whole venting, time-wasting, blogging thing? I have 50 posts on this page, which is about 44 more than I expected to put up.

I wish I had something useful to tell you, like maybe that the mothership is near and we should all prepare for its arrival. Wrap the foil tightly around your heads, and form the top of the "reciever" into a cone with a base diameter of 9" and 9" high. Don't go cheap; get the good foil. I have coupons for 55¢ off if anyone needs one.

Buy plenty if Pop-Tarts; the frosted ones interfere with the anti-matter injectors. Plain cherry are best. Blueberry's okay, but don't expect to barter with them.

Discontinue your newspapers. You don't need dozens of papers piling up in your yard. Forward your email accounts to If you haven't created your Zorgmaxxl email account yet, do it now! Get on the ball, people!

And the mothership isn't going to wait around while you stop at the ATM. Get plenty of singles now for tipping. We're not coming back to this planet, so don't get stingy with the tips. These guys didn't have to come pick us up. They are doing me a favor. Don't make me look bad, especially, you, Neal!